It's been a while since we did an "Opus" post, so we beg your indulgence as we live up to our avatar. Michael and Bruce Hampton suggested the opening quote.
"And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe outside." ... Manfred Mann
Billed as the 3rd Annual F1 Boston Thanksgiving Weekend Karting Extravaganza, it was my first visit to the facility and this young tradition. Escorted by Julia, (my 12-year old daughter) we got 100 feet into the place and Julia exclaimed, “Whoa… Dad… This place is way cool! I whole-heartedly agreed.
Thanks to excellent advance work by our organizer/host Donald MacDonald our private racing sessions were held on both the “City” & “Country” tracks merged into one with the aid of large garage doors thrown open to connect the two buildings.
We signed forms, suited up and were sent out for yellow flag warm-ups where no time was wasted in completely pissing off the staff and track manager. We were supposed to be learning the track, feeling out the karts and warming the tires. We probably weren’t supposed to be passing or racing. However, our collective excitement resulted in some red-mistification mayhem. Donny Mac did his finest impression of Juan Pablo Montoya on cold tires, flying past a row of nose to tail karts heading into turn one on the city course, before executing a lovely pirouette that split the line and ended with him into the outside wall facing backwards. (However the judges did award 10 style points for not hitting anyone.:-) With Donald facing backwards they turned on the red lights but no one saw them. (Too busy racing on cold tires.) The dicing and spinning continued down through the hairpin where Michael Auriemma moved a couple of inconveniently located participants (anyone in front of him :-) out of the way to improve his track position. We were instantly brought to an unceremonious halt in mid-lap by the track manager, who used every bit of his very impressive outside voice to read Michael and the rest of us the riot act, explaining that if one more racer passed another kart under yellow or red lights during our private session, we would all be sent home without supper or another second of seat time. That has to be some kind of a record as we’d only completed the first half of our first warm-up lap! :-) The manager’s outside voice did the trick and magically hands went up and speeds came down every time the yellow came on from that moment forward.
Having come to terms with the ground rules, our good Skippy training exhibited itself for the most part with tight clean exciting racing. The course was challenging with a good variety of fast and slow corners including elevation changes. The job became maintaining balance while keeping the revs up. Their 6hp karts are very similar in dynamics to the Endurance Karting karts. Brakes are on the rear wheels only so it’s easy to lock ‘em up and over-steering the kart jacks the tires up off their optimum contact patch and slows you down with excess push or slide.
We drove five (5) six-lap timed heats on the combined course and Julia Daly. :-) our point’s collector/tabulator claimed everyone was a winner but some did score a few more points than others…
So the pointiest were:
1.) MHP - 30 pts, (2nd, 3rd, 5th, 2nd, 5th)
2.) Sy Aryeh - 29 pts, (7th, 1st, 4th, 7th, 1st)
3.) Michael Auriemma – 24 pts (1st, 7th, 7th, 1st, 12th)
4.) Keith Lorentzen (3rd, 8th, 2nd, 4th, 8th, ) &
Ari Gatoff - (6th, 4th, 6th, 6th, 3rd)tied w/20pts
5.) David Giofriddo (4th, 9th, 1st, 5th, 9th) with fastest lap on the long course 37.986!) &
Paul Bordieri (12th, 2nd, 3rd, 9th, 4th) tied w/19 pts
6.) Donald MacDonald – (5th, 5th, 10th, 3rd, 7th) 16 pts
MHP deserves special mention for his stealthy consistent performance. He was fast from the start and kept his nose clean while carving through the pack in every race. Mark scored the most points of the day without a single win. (He did go on to win our second public afternoon session). Mark was always close to the front and his consistency ultimately proved the difference.
Sy & Michael both won 2 races with David Giofriddo also winning one race and walking away with fastest lap of the day!
The rest of us (Abhijeet Ghatak, Bob & Mathew Manzella, Bruce Hampton, Craig & Bruce Lorentzen, and Pat Daly) all had way more fun than points and left with smiles on our collective faces as well. And Bruce Hampton’s request not to mention his spin out of 6th place on the pace lap should be honored… So you didn’t hear it here. :-)
Between the 4th and 5th heat a single louder faster kart turned up on track. This thing sounded like a small block V-8 compared to the 6hp karts we were piloting. Sy, more accurately described it as the sound of an ATV, however the steel walled building enclosure really amplified its acoustic bark.
During our 5th race this louder kart appeared in our midst. It turned out to be F1 Boston owner R J Valentine, checking us out from the back of the pack. He passed all of us (Running about 4 seconds a lap faster than our best times) except for Sydude who held him off at the finish line! ;-)
After race #5 R J surprised us with 4 of the 13 hp karts for our 6th heat and I got to drive one. (Because of the mixed kart classes the finish order was score-boarded but times were not posted or printed up.)
R J advised working up to speed gradually over 3 laps to build heat in the tires. That sounded wise. They waved us off and we hit the gas. Woof… The difference between a 6 and 13hp launch was like flooring a tired ‘59 34 hp VW Beetle (my first car) vs. launching that same vehicle from a carrier deck with a catapult. Big Difference! With a solid rear axel it pulled like a rocket and cornered like a slot car, requiring considerable extra effort at the steering wheel. On the 2nd lap I slid wide and bounced it off the outside wall leading uphill to the hairpin (Opps, RJ did say 3 tire warming laps didn’t he…) and was immediately passed by the two 13hp karts behind me. I’d like to say that I then set off and ran them down like dogs but the truth is it was taking all of my physical strength to simply turn and hold the kart on line. That bad boy just did not want to turn and my upper body reserves were quickly maxed out. This was humbling & frustrating. As I gained confidence to explore the higher capability of the kart, I used up the physical strength to accurately control it. After the session I mentioned to RJ (A few years my senior) the extra effort required to steer the more powerful kart and he stuck out his bicep, “Feel This!” he said, flexing a rock hard muscle mass clearly up to the task. (Note to self… Schedule more gym visits for upper body and aerobic work…:-) And while I was feeling my age and upper body conditioning deficit a younger, stronger driver who shall remain nameless (Michael Auriemma) was catching four-wheel air and hardly breaking a sweat. (I hate him :-) It was a wonderful experience and thrill to drive the stronger kart, but I’ll eat my spinach and pump some iron in advance to enjoy it more the next time. :-)
After our private session Todd arrived with Linda and friends. He joined us on track for the last three of four public sessions on the “Country Course” that most of our group had signed up for. Finishing 3rd in his first race behind MHP & Michael, Todd must have gone to school on them, as he then beat them both in the next heat and won his 2nd race.
Starting the 3rd and final race deep in the field, Todd missed out on most but not all of the race mischief. I was started 4th, behind 3 unknown drivers, but ahead of all the Skippy/Juicy faithful. We passed one or two of the unknowns early on and then Sy cleanly slipped past. (bye bye Sy :-) I began feeling regular heavy bumps from behind. (I later learned that one of the unknowns (driving lucky #13) made it his practice to use whoever’s back bumper was in front of him as a brake point to disrupt their flow. (Others also accurately reported the bumping only occurred going into corners, never coming out, so the offender wasn’t faster, just more irritating) The hits were also harder than any of the incidental contact bumps we’d experienced in the private sessions. I’m not sure that #13 was actually my culprit, but someone turned me, killing my momentum heading through the tight switchback before start/finish. A train of at least four karts flew past including #13, Michael, Paul, and David. We then caught that pack and watched Michael battle #13. Michael had also received the rear bumper banging treatment and decided to deputize himself as etiquette enforcer. He moved inside #13 while entering the sweeping left-hander that crosses the start/finish line and pushed him progressively to the right until the outside wall attenuated lucky 13’s forward motion. That move earned him a quick trip to the penalty box. (And being right behind them I got 2 positions back!) Michael not only gladly accepted his penalty but also, immediately returned to the track and ran down good ol' #13 again, passing him cleanly before the end of the race for 6th place.
Shortly after Michael’s penalty I felt bumping again from behind…
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but Todd Snyder’s front bumper and leering-smile-sneer.
He pushed and he prodded both sides of my back, and I gave it my all to hold off his attack.
With steady hard pressure he hounded my ass, when I made a small bobble Todd motored on past.
I wondered who’d next feel his hard driving credo? Who’s next in his sights? David Giofriddo!
Todd chased David down and tapped on him too. David pressed harder still, but Todd stuck there like glue.
David thought number13 was on him again. He had no idea it was his Skippy friend.
So he drove two more laps and then threw up his arm. Diving into the pits, safe from further bump harm.
He blamed number 13 for committing bump sin. Never knowing Todd’s pressure was what did him in.
David never found out who the real culprit was. And the truth shouldn’t hurt but it might give him pause.
Now be sure not to tell, so he doesn’t get miffed.
Todd finished in 4th and I’m taking the Fifth!
We gathered for lunch afterward in the Ascari restaurant where Donald awarded appropriate prizes for various achievements.
MHP was awarded a large Speed Racer model car for collecting the most points. Sy received a mini version of the same car for his 2nd place effort and Michael was given a copy of the Racer Magazine with his first win photo in it. (Autographed to himself :-) David Giofriddo won a collectors edition (Cheesy) double cherry “Juicy” hat reportedly from Las Vegas, for, among other things, fastest lap of the day. Bruce Hampton received a lovely pair of fuzzy dice to dangle from his rear view mirror, for selflessly boosting the standings of so many others. And though Sy didn’t technically have the most penalty points he was also awarded the “Most Penalized” prize for his unscheduled meeting with a uniformed representative of a local constabulary on his way up to F1 Boston.
In summary, Donald did a great job setting it up and pulling it off. We were treated professionally, even after our initial indiscretion during the warm-up, and everything ran like a Swiss watch. The staff took good care of us. RJ pleasantly teased us with the 12hp karts, the track was challenging and the racing a blast. There’s already discussion about going back between Christmas & New Years… Sign me up! :-) (With hopes that Doug Harrison, who had to cancel at the last minute this time, will be able to make it! :-)
And finally, to flesh out this skimpy post,
we leave you with the list from Sy’s “Most Penalized” gift. A large tumbler embossed with:
“ 20 Things Not To Say To A Police Officer”
1. Oink, Oink!
2. No! YOU assume the position!
3. Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
4. Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
5. Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I’m in?
6. I hope you realize you are about to ruin a perfect record.
7. Sorry Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
8. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer?
9. What do you mean, “Have I been drinking?” You’re the trained specialist.
10. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
11. Gee officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?
12. Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches, please?
13. Whoops, that’s the fake one… Here ya go, this is the one.
14. Yes, I saw your lights on, but I thought you were going to get a doughnut.
15. Come on! Write the stupid ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes.
16. You’re lucky this car needs a tune-up or you’d have never caught me.
17. If you tried the stuff I just had you wouldn’t be so damn up-tight.
18. What exactly is, “Legally Drunk?”
19. So what’s a good bribe go for around here?
20. Well, when I reached down to pick up my crack pipe, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged in the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Below is our group mug shot, a shot of the warriors in waiting, and me in my Tsunami ready racing gear.