Who's Your Daddy? - Team Juicy Racing's Racing School and Race Series Forums

Pork Chop Willie · #1 10-13-2004

What more need be said? I got my "Who's Your Daddy" t-shirt last night!

dalyduo · #2 10-13-2004

Yes sir, Mr. Chop that was one fine ballgame. It had all the dramatic components and the right outcome to boot.

Haven't seen it with my own eyes yet but was told one of the NYC papers had a picture of a rather disgruntled Curt Shilling on its back page with a large one word title... "MOMMY!"

If we can get to Pedro tonight you've got to like our chances. Boston is such a tenacious team right now that you've got to respect them until the last out every game.

Love the way Bernie, Matsui, Sheffield, Jeter and Lofton are hitting the ball. Matsui looked a foot short in the outfield last night but made up for it with 5 RBI's!

They've had Torre's brother and his transplant, Torre's own prostate cancer, Stottlemeyer's illness. 9/11/01. Oneill's father (and I belive Luis Sojo's father's) passing and now Rivera's family tragedy. If you wrote this stuff no one would believe it. The drama is almost as good as a race weekend!

jcraige · #3 10-13-2004

When the Red Sox win this Series, and they will win this Series, I would like all you Yankees fans to remember that while Pedro may need a Daddy,

YOU WILL ALL BE MY B*TCH!

dalyduo · #4 10-13-2004

Harvey Araton writes in todays New York Times sports section,

Emotional Toll That Stretches All the Way to the Off-Season.

Just when the Red Sox believed they were secure in the saddle with an ace named Schilling, here came the Yankees' Murderers' Row of Mystique, Mussina and Matsui.

Just when the Yankees thought they were breathing easy in the Bronx, here came the Red Sox, and suddenly a desperate and emotional call for the Yankees main man, Mariano.

It was as if a lightning bolt struck Yankee Stadium last night, precisely at the moment when the public-address announcer, Bob Sheppard, upon introducing the Yankees pitchers, added, "and en route to Yankee Stadium, No. 42..." Who could possibly have known how deperately Joe Torre would need him?...

...After a Florida exhibition for which tickets were scalped at wallet emptying prices and 19 regular season confrontations that were hyped to head-spinning proportions, these teams staged another wild October classic, another postseason conflagration to prove once and for all which of these bitter rivals had the better off-season.

Yankees-Red Sox is now a year-round blood sport that doesn't pause for holiday reflection. Last October's epic Game 7 was only a preliminary to the dueling bartering and bank accounts that commenced with the Red Sox Thanksgiving pilgrimage to Arizona to land Shilling. It concluded in February with the Yankees' lifting of Alex Rodriquez off the baseball hot stove just after Boston believed it had acquired his rich services. Both teams gorged on the big-market buffet line, and now we'll see who burps the loudest over the next several nights.

The timeline of the trades, unfortunately, doesn't support the hypothesis that the Yankees set themselves up for their ultimate humiliation, losing to the Red Sox for the first time in a postseason, by pursuing the more glamorous A-Rod instead of the lights-out rotation anchor they lacked. Let's just say they didn't have an ace until Mussina made Moose meat out of the Red Sox with a performance that until the seventh inning could only be described as "cowboy up, cowboy down."

The Yankees, meanwhile, were on Schilling from the outset, chasing him after 3 innings and 58 unconvincing pitches. For this night, Schilling wasn't Boston's savior. He was its problem, and now the Red Sox have to face another one: pitching Pedro Martinez tonight in game 2 in front of 55,000 people who believe they're his daddy...

...For the want of a legitimate prospect or two to send west, Schilling might have been a Yankee. Had the players union signed off on a restructuring of A-Rods deal, he would have been a Red Sox player. Due to modern economics, Jerry Seinfeld likes to say that we're all rooting for laundry. It was Boston's turn, finally to land a player the Yankees wished they had all season long, until last night, when Schilling stumbled unwittingly onto Murderers' Row, Bronx NY.

The Red Sox made it fun, crazy, scary. But in the end, there was Rivera, punctating their defeat. It's still not clear if a stain dating back to 1918 comes out in the wash.

Woof woof... :-)

jcraige · #5 10-13-2004

It just wouldn't be right to win this series withoout losing the first game. It would upset the alignment of the planets I think. No, this has to go down to the wire. Neck and neck. This time howevver, there is no Aaron %$*^&$# Boone and Billy Buckner is hiding out somewhere west of Mid-Ohio. This year is ours.

dalyduo · #6 10-13-2004

I like your pluck lad but with all due respect that cup your holding will most likely wind up with a 3 on the front and a...

With love,

"1918... Curse of the Bambino"
Bucky %$*^&$# Dent
Billy Buckner
Aaron %$*^&$# Boone
And Mariano %$*^&$# Rivera of the 2004 World Champion New York Yankees...

On the back.

I see Pedro is already doing his warm-ups for the game tonight.

jcraige · #7 10-13-2004

I will be

and very

when my beloved Red Sox beat the New York Yankess like Ike beat Tina.

As for Bucky %&*#$ Dent, I remember that game like it was yesterday.

He is on the list. The list is small. I know where he lives, and late, late at night, it will be me in his window....

Pork Chop Willie · #8 10-13-2004

Gotta leave now for tonite's game. Time to start warming up my vocal chords. "Pedro! Who's......"

sydude · #9 10-13-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by jcraige

As for Bucky %&*#$ Dent, I remember that game like it was yesterday.

Me, too. I must have been 7 or 8 and was a crazed Yankee fan. It was totally unexpected the Dent could hit the ball over the wall - he used to use that super-high choked up grip. Unforgettable. Nettles, Chambliss, Guidry, Catfish Hunter, Thurman Munson and on and on.

Go Yankees!

dalyduo · #10 10-13-2004

Laddie, Are you sure Ike Turner is your first choice as an analogy model for the Boston Red Sox?

Ike Turner: "The drugs started in 1970"

But in the early seventies, Ike developed a multi-million dollar cocaine habit.

"It started off as fun and then it's no fun any more - you wake up living for it," said Ike, who began to physically abuse his wife.

"I did a lot of wrong things during the time I was doing drugs," he says.

"I did a lot of wrong things but I don't think that I'm a bad person and I can't undo what's been done, all I can do is say I'm sorry."

After years of abuse, infidelity and drug addiction, Tina left Ike in 1976 and went on to forge a successful solo career.

In 1990 he was sent to jail for his addiction, which he now claims was: "The best thing that ever happened to me."

If that's your choice... well OK?

I'll gladly take Tina Turner, a triple threat long range international super star with legs who overcomes all obstacles life throws at her and still over achieves, as an analogy for the New York Yankees. Ike & Tina are such an unfair matchup that they almost can't be compared but it is very clear who always comes out on top in the long run from that comparison!

Pork Chop Willie · #11 10-14-2004

Dear jcraige and macdod,
SWEEP!! Yeah, baby.

dalyduo · #12 10-14-2004

11:50pm October 13th News Flash...

George Steinbrenner has signed adoption papers tonight officially designating the New York Yankees as Pedro Martinez' daddy. This happened just minutes after John Lieber out-pitched Pedro and the Boston Red Sox by a score of 3-1 to go up 2 games to none in the best of 7 series.

Steinbrenner went on to further announce that going forward the official theme song of the New York Yankees will be changed from Frank Sinatra's rendition of "New York, New York" to Tina Turner's version of "Simply the Best!..." reminding all within earshot of the second line of her song that states, "...Better than all the rest!"

In an emotional press conference Pedro Martinez said that he really liked the chants of "Who's your daddy? at Yankee Stadium because they made him feel important and loved.

jcraige · #13 10-14-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by jcraige

It just wouldn't be right to win this series withoout losing the first game. It would upset the alignment of the planets I think. No, this has to go down to the wire. Neck and neck. This time howevver, there is no Aaron %$*^&$# Boone and Billy Buckner is hiding out somewhere west of Mid-Ohio. This year is ours.

Please insert "two" after "first" and before "game". Also please add that Dent Dude to my list of bad people.

We have a little bit of a "tester" here, but everthing is going according to plan...

sydude · #14 10-14-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pork Chop Willie

Dear jcraige and macdod,
SWEEP!! Yeah, baby.

PCW, I think that MacDod's already jumped the Red Sox ship for the Yanks. He always wore both shirts, me thinks. So it's just JC, all by himself, suffering and suffering...

dalyduo · #15 10-14-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by jcraige

Please insert "two" after "first" and before "game". Also please add that Dent Dude to my list of bad people.

We have a little bit of a "tester" here, but everthing is going according to plan...

I'm on board with this flexible and creative plan. Followed to conclusion, the series will end after the second game in Boston and you'll finally have us right where we want you!

jcraige · #16 10-14-2004

0-2? Heck, that's not even a fair fight yet. We should probably spot you guys the next game just to make it interesting.

What do you think, Donald?

Donald?

Donald?

dalyduo · #17 10-14-2004

As a complete non-sequitor:

I think this puzzled smilie should also be in the racing category.

It looks like one of us with a few too many twists on the old anti-submarine belt while negotiating turns 3 and 4, or the chicane at LRP?

perhaps some renaming suggestions would be in order?

The (Insert your favorite high strung balsey driver's last name here...)
The Nut Cracker
The Tenor

suggestions?

jcraige · #18 10-14-2004

Let's call it "The Michael Auriemma"!

For this one eye closed expression is the look I have when I am just about to lockup and punt him through a corner after he has used that "race craft" stuff and brake-tested me an eigth of a mile before the braking zone at:

1. the final corner at VIR,

2. Turn 1 at LRP

3. The uphill at LRP

4. West Bend at LRP

5. The DOWNHILL at LRP

We could just call it "The Michael" for short!

MJAmok · #19 10-14-2004

That's fine Jim. Just don't call me daddy.

dalyduo · #20 10-14-2004

(To be read in the slow deliberate lispy patterned speech of Stuart Smalley)

Hello,

I'm Stuart Smalley and I know some of you may have been wondering how I've been doing since my first serious crash...
Well, First of all... I was wearing a big white crash helmet..., so I'm... O K. Except for the leg bruising, which is looking much better. The arnica gel helps a lot.

I did experience a bit of a shame spiral after the crash when I realized how much I had hurt that poor little car and how much I had to agree to pay in order to drive again later that day. Guess the kids at the orphanage won't be getting my pledge again this year... but they're all so good at helping one another, I'm sure they'll do fine without history books. And vegetables are so over-rated... but I digress..

My first guest today is a fellow racer named Jim Craige. Jim has shown me something he wrote in this thread suggesting that a funny little smillie be re-named "The Michael Auriemma".

Now Jim,

It looks like there could be some "issues" here that you and Michael haven't quite completely worked out, and I'm here to help.

First, You might want to sit down and have some Ginseng tea together and see if you can better understand each other.

If that doesn't work, another simple solution would be for Michael to install a large pie plate sized stroboscopic brake light on his car, so that drivers like you will have ample warning when he's "testing" his brakes in the future.

Or, I'm also told that Michael, when racing, likes to wear a strap system with a scrotal clip he calls a Dcell. By simply wiring a few real live Duracells to his scrotal clip and then hot wiring the trigger to his brake light switch, he'll be much less likely to "test" or even apply his brakes in the future, resulting in much faster times for both of you!

But Jim... Let's be honest... If you're far enough ahead of Michael during a race, his application of the brakes won't affect you in the least. Everyone knows Michael has a very nice gear box, but you should strive more to have Michael looking at your gear box rather than you looking at his, and complaining about his braking habits, shouldn't you? Everyone goes through difficult times when their driving ability and confidence can hit... kind of a wall... (Something I've had some recent experience with) and I'm convinced that if you just stay positive and use lots of affirmations, everything will be... O K.

So lets look over into that big mirror together and repeat after me....

I... Jim Craige.... will do my best to always stay ahead of Michael Auriemma on a race track... because I'm good enough... I'm smart enough... and dog-gone-it people like me!

There you go! I can see you feel much better already!

Well, I can't believe we're out of time already, but this has really been a wonderful show!

Next week, Michael Auriemma has agreed to come here and demonstrate on me, all of those interesting straps and buckles he's so fond of!
I can't wait!
See you then, and drive safely...

jcraige · #21 10-15-2004

Had Leslie's 40th last night. Very hung over. little man pounding on the inside of my eyeballs right now. He's a mean little fella. I can't possibly digest all that's written above.

Something about Smalley Stuart and a big white crash helmet? Or is that Stuart Smalley and a big white elephant? I hope it's the latter and he hopes back on that elephant, and comes here and takes back those sweaters he left on my teeth. tell him to bring some food as well. I am starving.

I could really use that Ginseng tea right about now as well. I think I slept an hour last night. I'd like to take this time to thank my lovely wife for having the sense to get me into bed early this morning for a few brief winks. Pretty good chance I would still be sitting upright, fully clothed, on the couch right now if she had not.

Bet the baby sitter thinks I am a prize. Not to self: just give her a wad of cash and say "thank you". You make fool out of yourself trying to multiply the number of hours by her hourly rate in that state. That stupid tilting head look you get when you try to "carry a 1" makes you look like a dog who hears a distant whistle.

I guess I smell real bad as well. That's what they are telling me. I can't get rid of it. It's oozing from my pores. I can't stop sweating. People are concerned that if someone lights a match near me, this whole place is toast. So much for that fire warden job I have always wanted.

Well, I probaly should get back to my day job now. I manage bond portfolios for a living. Someone should just shoot me right now before I am allowed to trade. Can't tell if I am buying bonds, selling bonds, or making an accordian. I want to raise my hand and be excused but it hurts so much to move I am afraid I'll start to cry. It's strange, but I actually think my hair hurts. Why is that?

In any event, the pizza man should be here shortly. He probably thinks it's odd that I asked for a morning delivery.

I don't care.

I am starving and so is the elephant.

sydude · #22 10-15-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by jcraige

Bet the baby sitter thinks I am a prize. Not to self: just give her a wad of cash and say "thank you".

Just wanted to congratulate you again on having the cajones to hire a hot baby sitter. Well done!

If you want to feel better, just take a few shots of Tequila. That'll work for ya. Won't help your bond trades much, but you'll feel better.

dalyduo · #23 10-15-2004

Jim,
This is why god created "personal" days. Phone it in... Don't drive, trade or bungy jump. Advil is your friend. Go back to bed, pull the covers over your head and ride that furry mouthed hangover bull back to the barn. You may not remember everything but we'll always have your wonderful post to remind you! :-) Rest long and well.

jcraige · #24 10-15-2004

Can't leave. Food's here. Eating so fast I just bit my tongue. I should be wearing a bib. I am a mess.

MJAmok · #25 10-15-2004

I'm crying. Partly because this was so funny. Partly because I've been there and know how you feel. But mostly, cause I am going dancing in NYC tonite (going out at midnite... what am I an idiot?) and will likely feel like that tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Phobos · #26 10-15-2004

This is all very cute...but it does not take our eye off the ball (unlike Damon). That annoying, blackboard finger-nail scratching sound echoing in the caverns of your hung over skull is that of a Yankee fan, just possibly MJAmok or yours-truly, reminding you that we are in fact "your daddy". And, congrats to Leslie on her birthday, sad if she had to rob the crib she couldn’t find a Yankee fan.

jcraige · #27 10-15-2004

Have a blast! I must say, after the food, it has gotten better. I still smell I think, but I can live with that. Best quote of the day "Your a drunk, but your a happy drunk!"

Words to live by...

jcraige · #28 10-15-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobos

This is all very cute...but it does not take our eye off the ball (unlike Damon). That annoying, blackboard finger-nail scratching sound echoing in the caverns of your hung over skull is that of a Yankee fan, just possibly MJAmok or yours-truly, reminding you that we are in fact "your daddy". And, congrats to Leslie on her birthday, sad if she had to rob the crib she couldn’t find a Yankee fan.

I have been swapping email with Donald. He is out West. I won't relay his exact words to you and the rest of the Yankees fans, but he sends his regards so to speak...

3 words: "GREEN *&^$*# MONSTER!!!!

birkmama · #29 10-15-2004

To Michael: For moving up a class (at least in the posting world). I wanted the first to shake your hand for making it to 250 - mostly nonsensical, yet entertaining - posts on a nonsensical yet entertaining website.

To Leslie: For her birthday

To Jimmy: For having hijacked the RACING web page and turning it into a baseball forum. Thank god this will all be over after this weekend.

Phobos · #30 10-15-2004

This is just too easy! And here are three words for him - yep you guessed right "Who's Your Daddy?"

dalyduo · #31 10-15-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by jcraige

I have been swapping email with Donald. He is out West. I won't relay his exact words to you and the rest of the Yankees fans, but he sends his regards so to speak...

3 words: "GREEN *&^$*# MONSTER!!!!

Green Monster... are you talking about Fenway or your state of being today, Jim?

I don't see the problem as both teams get to take advantage of its features.

jcraige · #32 10-15-2004

My God, Donald! Even the Germans are against us! I can take David, Bill, that crazy Duo guy and even that Michael guy who is going dancing, but now they are soliciting international support!!

We have them on the ropes, Donald!!!! Time to move in for the kill!!!

cdh · #33 10-16-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by birkmama

To Jimmy: For having hijacked the RACING web page and turning it into a baseball forum. Thank god this will all be over after this weekend.

Yes, but this is one of the funnier threads I've seen.

Jim, your hangover description had me on the floor (which is where you were I guess)

birkmama · #34 10-16-2004

CDH,

Agree. The hang over of our friend's had me actually consider to quit drinking altogether. But then, how should I worthily celebrate the Yankees move into the world series?

Which leads to the question you have not answered yet: Would you rather be Jimmy's Daddy or his Bitch?

sydude · #35 10-17-2004

WOOOHOOOO!

Yankees Crush Red Sox, One Win from Sweep

BOSTON (Reuters) - The New York Yankees (news) scored the most runs in an American League Championship Series game as they pounded the Boston Red Sox (news) 19-8 on Saturday to move within one victory of a return trip to the World Series (news - web sites).

New York's commanding 3-0 lead in the best-of-seven series has turned the highly-anticipated rematch of last year's seven-game thriller into a one-sided blowout.

"It's not over yet because they are certainly capable of winning ballgames, but to be up 3-0, I think we're surprised by the fact that we've done that," Yankees manager Joe Torre said.

In what turned out to be the longest nine-inning game in playoff history, Boston pitchers encountered trouble from the outset.

Starter Bronson Arroyo walked Yankee captain Derek Jeter to start the game, then gave up a double to Alex Rodriguez and a two-run homer to Hideki Matsui to put Boston in a 3-0 hole before their batters had a chance to come to the plate.

The Yankees knocked Arroyo out of the game in the third inning, but the Red Sox bullpen could not slow New York's power hitters.

The Bronx Bombers' 2-3-4 hitters -- Rodriguez, Gary Sheffield and Matsui -- each homered and combined for 12 hits, 13 runs scored and 12 runs batted in.

Matsui tied a League Championship Series record with five hits, including two homers.

In total, Yankee bats pounded Boston for 22 hits in front of a sell-out crowd of 35,126 at Fenway Park.

PLAYOFF RECORD

It was a bad night to be a pitcher since Boston tallied 15 hits of their own, including home runs from Trot Nixon and Jason Varitek. The 37 hits from the two clubs set a playoff record.

The early stages did not all go New York's way, however, as Yankees starter Kevin Brown also had a rough outing and was pulled after two innings.

In his third start since injuring himself by punching a clubhouse wall, Brown allowed four runs -- three earned -- on five hits and two walks.

Boston's Tim Wakefield, who was originally slated to start Game Four, tossed more than three innings in relief and will not start on Sunday.

Derek Lowe will now take the mound for the Red Sox against Yankees starter Orlando Hernandez.

"Our only objective, our only goal is to win tomorrow," Boston manager Terry Francona said.

"It starts looking a little daunting if you start looking at too big a picture"

Pork Chop Willie · #36 10-17-2004

Oh, my. 19 friggin runs. This is ALMOST not funny anymore. So why am I grinning?

Speaking of funny, Jim, that piece on your hangover was the funniest thing I have ever read. Why did you have the party on a weeknight? Don't you know that is why God made Saturday nights. So that when you wake up on Sunday morning you can go to your relevant house of worship and swear that you will never, ever misbehave again!

cdh · #37 10-17-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by dalyduo

(To be read in the slow deliberate lispy patterned speech of Stuart Smalley)

Hello,

I'm Stuart Smalley and I know some of you may have been wondering how I've been doing since my first serious crash...
Well, First of all... I was wearing a big white crash helmet..., so I'm... O K. Except for the leg bruising, which is looking much better. The arnica gel helps a lot.

I did experience a bit of a shame spiral after the crash when I realized how much I had hurt that poor little car and how much I had to agree to pay in order to drive again later that day. Guess the kids at the orphanage won't be getting my pledge again this year... but they're all so good at helping one another, I'm sure they'll do fine without history books. And vegetables are so over-rated... but I digress..

My first guest today is a fellow racer named Jim Craige. Jim has shown me something he wrote in this thread suggesting that a funny little smillie be re-named "The Michael Auriemma".

Now Jim,

It looks like there could be some "issues" here that you and Michael haven't quite completely worked out, and I'm here to help.

____________________________________

sydude · #38 10-17-2004

Brilliant! Absof%$kinglutely brilliant! Jimmy's Hangover, the Yankees steamrollering, Pat & CDH's Stuart Craige Smalley, etc. Maybe I should change TJR.com to a hangover site!

Phobos · #39 10-17-2004

OK – I promise never to chant “Who’s Your Daddy” ever again, if only the Suck’s, excuse me, the Sox’s promise to wear their jock straps, and not J-Lo’s little pink throng (or ever, ever have the Cowsill’s sing the National Anthem). From a Yankee’s fan perspective the worse thing that could happen would be to sweep the Suck’s, no, no I meant the Sox’s, and celebrate another pennant win dancing on the ashes of another season of Boston faithful dreams, at the holy shrine of whiners - Fenway.

Look, the role of Yankee bitch is already been played quite adequately by our local whiners, the Mets. Come on Boston, put some stones in those pants, we need you, your Nation needs you. If we do not have Boston fans (thank you Craige and MacDonald) to humiliate, annoy, and ultimately take their money, then what do us Yankee fans have? Oh, yea, I almost forgot 40 pennants, and soon, 28 World Series championships!

tomahawk · #40 10-17-2004

Hope you don't mind if I jump in...

:tomahawk

dalyduo · #41 10-17-2004

(In the unmistakable high pitched whine of Phil Rizzuto... White refers to Bill White a great former player who broadcast Yankee games with Rizzuto for years.)

"Holly Cow! White.... I can't believe it!... 19 to 8... I've never seen anything like this... Boy oh Boy, those Bronx Bombers really took it to those poor Red Sox... and can you believe that Matsuey guy and all those home runs and hits... Holy cow...and that huckelberry Rod-ree-guez was unbelievable with the way he hit that home run over the green monster, and over those darn bleachers above that green monster... oh I couldn't believe that!! Hey pass me one of those canoli's over there, would you White? And Sheffield... Holy Cow if they don't give him MVP... did you see that bullet he threw to gun down Manny at third... I couldn't believe it! Just when you think you've seen everything... Well, Yogi said it, "Baseball is 90% mental - the other half is physical."... geez White you better talk now... I've got to finish this canoli..."

End Rizzuto riff:

Even die hard Yankee fans don't dream a 3-0 lead with a 19-8 victory for game three in Boston...

Actually Jim, I believe you to be a highly sensitive and intuitive person. I realize now that you must have received some sort of advanced awareness about last nights Red Sox loss and under the cover of your lovely wife's 40th birthday, made a self-polluting pre-emptive strike to ease the pain of that awareness.

Doug,
Big LOL from Stuart Smalley pix. As always... great work that makes us laugh.

Wonder how Michael's big dance night in the big city went? Things have been quiet on that front so far... HHhhmm?

MJAmok · #42 10-17-2004

Hey boys... I'm here.. feeling better than Jim... hee hee hee.

I do have one regret about this Yankee thing... when Phobos and I bet Jimmy and McDod (speaking of quiet... hmmmm) dinner in the victors city, I suggested a sweep bonus. Unfortunately, they were too wise to take it.

Not so however Dave from Skip Barber, who might as well write the check now!

Pat... thanks for clueing me in on the reason for Jimmy's binge... It makes sense now. I couldn't figure out why if it was his lovely wife's birthday, that he was the one that got put to bed by her... seems all wrong to me. "Gee honey, let me throw you a party, and then get so smashed I become disfunctional for several days".

birkmama · #43 10-17-2004

Jimmy? Jiiiimmmmieeeeee!

C'mon be a good sport and tell us how you're really feelin'?

jcraige · #44 10-17-2004

Hi Kids, I feel much better now. That was a rough one. Evidently I piled into some sort of food that night after I got home. Supposedly looked like a monkey attacked a bag of peanuts. Did I tell you my inlaws came down for the weekend and were stying with us that night? Yep, they were here to. The day of my recovery, I actually drove their car up to our house in Hyde Park. Leslie, the kids, and her parents took our car up there during the day and I was tasked with delivering myself and their car to our house. Preferably the car and I would arrive in one piece. It all sounded so simple the night before... I needed to do this right.

The deer I hit 4 miles from our house is fine I think. Little shit cleared the front right bumper and hit the left top of the hood and kept on running. I am driving along minding my own business and the little shit jumped right onto my hood!!! Actaully my in-laws hood. Can't believe it!!! Little shit.

Pictue this: They all know what a mess I must have been that day. They all know I got about 2 hours of sleep and and am just a wreck. I am not batting 1000 at this point with the whole lot of them. And here I am, hands in my pocket, standing in the rain on the road, looking at that hood and wondering what on earth I did to deserve this, and will they ever believe me??? For the love of God, just shoot me!!! That's when I saw the little tuft of fur. That wonderful little tuft of fur that little shit left on the hood. I can't tell you how happy I was to see that I winged the little bastard. Now I had evidence.

I drove about 2 miles and hour home after that, to protect that wonderful little package of hair Bambi depsited on that car. I got home, explained the situation, and went to bed.

Man, what a day. When the day starts out like that, just punt.

Ahhhh. Back to the game.

OK, so 0-3 is not exactly perfect, but sometimes it just takes a little warm-up before the real show starts. I am very optimistic about tonight. I just have a feeling that things will work out OK. Kinda like lifting at the apex of the downhill. It just feels right. By the way, the Yankees are up 2-0 right now in the 4th. Yes, big lift because it feels right. Wheeee!!!

CDH, excellent photo. Very funny. Don't know how you pull those off, but your pics are priceless. Glad you liked my drunken diatribe as well. Knowing Sy, that little ditty has been archived somewhere and will be taken out during my run for US Senate from Vermont. Better change my name...

Ta ta!

cdh · #45 10-18-2004

It's quiet out there............too quiet............

everyone still sleeping after the late-nite ball game?

jcraige · #46 10-18-2004

cdh · #47 10-18-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by jcraige

______________________________________________

LOL!!!!

Phobos · #48 10-18-2004

Thank goodness we still have a little life in this series! If I count correctly the number of these bananas equal the number of times Damon has not had a hit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jcraige

dalyduo · #49 10-18-2004

Jim,

Your writing is wonderful. Your posts remind me of a Steinbeck novel... "Cannery Row" comes to mind. :-) I can't possibly top your deer in the headlights story.
However...

My A-D-D moment of the weekend ocurred after driving the family down from Goshen CT last night. Depart at 7:20p, listening to the game, make good time, arrive 9:10p. Unpack the car & realize I've left laptop and NYU teaching materials back in CT. Oy Vey... (That's a technical term my wife taught me) Wife and daughter go to sleep, I immediately drive back up, listening to the game, so tired I think I hallucinate something flying over my hood. Arrive at 11p semi-fried. Set the alarm for 4:30a, fall asleep while Yankees are ahead going into the 9th. Alarm goes off at 4:30a with the news that Red Sox nation now has something to get them through the winter. Back on the road at 5a, arrive in NYC with computer etc. at 7a. in time to get on the tandem bike with Julia and take her to school. (Way more fun than car or bus)

Oddly enough after returning the car to the garage I noticed some damage at the front that I'd never seen before. Upon closer inspection I too muttered "little shit..." thinking the attendant had done it. Then I saw it! A little tuft of felt wedged under the sharp metal corner of the hood.... Ah ha!! I now had irrefutable evidence that I hadn't imagined the raging figure that leapt across my hood during the return drive. The color of the felt and threads confirmed that it could have only been one thing... A Red Sox fan.

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

cdh · #50 10-18-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by dalyduo

Ah ha!! I now had irrefutable evidence that I hadn't imagined the raging figure that leapt across my hood during the return drive. The color of the felt and threads confirmed that it could have only been one thing... A Red Sox fan.

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

priceless..............