[Moxie]

Being a dog and therefore pretty good at sniffing things out, I've uncovered some additional details about the custom, limited edition watch that Tag Heuer will make to commemorate its new status as the official SBRS timekeeper. These special features, which have not yet been formally announced, are intended to ensure that the watch captures the real flavor and spirit of SBRS as we know it today.

The watch will have a Japanese name but will be assembled in America.

Each watch will be assembled from randomly selected parts in red, blue and white.

Rather than gold or stainless steel, the watch casing will be made from fiberglass and duct tape.

The watch will only run for 35 minutes before it needs winding. If worn in Connecticut, it will not run at all on Sundays.

The watch will be constructed to survive a 110 mph impact with pavement, but it will not be waterproof.

One or two out of every 16 watches will run slowly. If you happen to get one of the "slow hands" watches, you can complain to Tag Heuer and they will determine if it's you or the watch that is at fault, unless you are 14 years old and have a private coach, in which case you automatically get a faster watch.

Each time you wear the watch, you will receive an email from Tag Heuer asking for a contribution to the Underpaid Jewelers' Fund.